Today we had an Ask-Me-Anything (AMA) Dating Advice Zatsu! Thank you so much for your valuable questions on Marshmallow and for tuning in to hear my two cents. I hope it was helpful for anyone facing a dilemma or difficulty. Hime loves love! I hope we can do this again soon!
I recorded some of my responses in this blog post as a way for those who missed the stream to see a summarised version of the answers. Of course, if you’d like, you can also view the full VOD here. (Starts after the Love and Deepspace ‘Tomorrow’s Catch-22’ Trailer reaction)
How do I tell my Crush I like him? – aetas
First, be considerate of their situation, if you know they are attached, in a situationship, or involved in something which is already emotionally taxing, you may want to refrain telling them at this time.
Second, if you are certain they do not have romantic feelings for you or they are in a situation which may not allow a relationship to develop, you may want to reconsider confessing and reflect on what would be the end goal of your confession. (Because even if you confess and reciprocate, it would be difficult to pursue a relationship. If you are wiling to try, you can still shoot your shot though!)
In my opinion, a confession to someone you’re not 100% certain is into you should be concise and considerate, like an email, but not so formal. If you are confessing through the phone or through a text, always be sure to leave room for rejection, because there should be an option to say yes or no, and don’t leave them anxious with a ‘Hey I need to talk to you about something‘. Be clear about your intentions. There’s nothing to be shameful or shy about: ‘I really like your company, more than in a platonic way, and I’m wondering if you felt the same.’
However, if you are confident of a positive response, there are many ways to ask someone out. You may want to consider grander gestures for someone that you are sure reciprocates your feelings. Some experiences from myself and people I know include writing a heartfelt letter or message to ask someone out, preparing surprise gifts or flower bouquets and waiting for a nice moment on a date to pop the question (kind of like a proposal). All the best!
My ex reached out to me to try to make amends after I decided to cut her off. Is it wrong that I still want to avoid her? I’m glad that she wants to clear things up, but can’t bring myself to make a connection with her. I still believe that we’d be better off not knowing each other at all from now.
If you believe it is best not to contact them, then don’t. At the end of the day, we’re all responsible for the milk spilt on our floors. If someone has wronged you, you don’t owe closure to them. But if it benefits you to heart them out and you want to closure for yourself too, why not? Otherwise if you’ve made your peace, you can politely decline or not reply at all, imo.
Do you have any advice for someone whos thinking of wanting to reach out to their old crush, and possibly just ask them out for lunch or dinner? just to rekindle the friendship.. maybe
When it comes to old flames, it is important to remember that they are probably not the same person you crushed on back then, so enter this rekindled friendship with an open mind. Start off platonically and see if things go in a positive direction. If you play your cards right, at worst, nothing changes, and at best, you gain a partner or renewed friend!
Ease into getting to know the person again by interacting with them more online if they are active on social media. If they aren’t and you had a positive history with them, a drop of a text with something relevant to said old crush would be a good start! For example “Hey I remembered you play Monster Hunter, are you getting Monster Hunter Wilds? I’m considering picking it up.” or something along those lines. Good luck •ᴗ•
Should I confess to the girl I like directly face to face or just chat with her online? since she and I living in 2 different provinces and we meet about 2 or 3 times a month sometime just once a month.
I don’t know who you are but I’d say if you both make the effort to meet 2 or 3 times monthly despite living in different provinces, you have a decent chance for a positive response! Consider what would she prefer, is she quick to respond in real life, or would she feel awkward about it?
If you have been seeing each other for a while and you feel brave enough to do it face to face, (and you’re certain she’ll be comfortable with the situation), give it a go! Keep it lighthearted and open. In any case, a heads up for this might better prepare her. Something along the lines of “Hey I want to chat with you about something, it’s nothing negative or urgent but want to hear what you think.” as a starter will set a platform to give her thoughts on some matter, and at least not catch her off guard.
This was a key thing for my failed LDR, the transition from meeting him almost daily to almost no contact was too difficult!
How would you advice on keeping up a long distance relationship
I’m going to preface this by saying I’ve tried and tested Long Distance Relationships (LDR) and I’m not someone who can keep one up. But what I learnt from the 9-month experience is that keeping open communication about your true feelings about the relationship throughout and checking in often is key. A lot of unhappiness and difficulty can surface transitioning to LDR or being in an LDR which if left untreated will result in accumulated discontent. Make time for your partner and schedule video calls and times to be in touch with them.
Is it normal to be really really embarrassed with the thought of my girlfriend (like thinking your so in love) and like uncertain if this feeling is really love or just something like relieve after being rejected for so long.
Feeling excitement, enjoyment and positive emotions associated with your girlfriend are completely normal. Who doesn’t love having reciprocated attraction and feelings? But LOVE and Relationships as a whole are a lot more than just the butterflies in our tummies.
If you are still in the honeymoon period where everything seems right (often early in a relationship) and that they could do no wrong, indulge in it and enjoy the moment! If the honeymoon phase lasts forever for you, big congratulations! You found a partner who is likely highly compatible with you and I hope you both have an amazing life together!
I wonder how your husband reacts watching u playing this (referring to Love and Deepspace)
This was less of a question and more of a statement that I just thought I’d address since we didn’t have any questions at the time! My husband knows I play Otome games and he’s alright with it! He even indulges me sometimes when I ask if we can try some things (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ We communicated about this early on because we bonded over anime when we started dating, so being a fan (or simp even) towards certain fictional characters is something we understand about each other.
When I first downloaded the game I asked if he was comfortable with me playing it, and he was pretty indifferent. Chewy has his own 2D waifus and I have my 2D/3D husbandos. Communication is key!
Hey my girlfriend is going to prague on the 13th. How do I still make a suprise? Do i get her a gift after or before she comes home.
I think if you know your girlfriend well, and she likes surprises, that she’d be happy regardless if it was before or after she comes home. However, I can guarantee if you do BOTH, she’d be doubly happy ^_^ (Don’t hold me to it though I don’t know you XD)
Special mention to Bilbo who shared really vulnerably and dropped some great nuggets of wisdom in chat! Thank you so much for contributing to the conversation ;;
Closing
We ended off the stream with a reminder to love yourself, know your worth, make sure you’re treated well and keep communication and effort a key part of your relationship(s) always. If you are looking to spend your life with your partner, enrolling in marriage counselling helped myself and Chewy a lot and equipped us with many helpful skills for the future. We enrolled in both a Pre-marriage workshop (~5 weeks) and a Marriage Mentorship Programme (1 Survey and 5 sessions) before we tied the knot. You might want to consider it! It was helpful to us personally. If you have more questions, the #serious-stuff channel in my Discord is always open! Thank you again for tuning in, rest well and have a wonderful Valentine’s week!